Pages of my life…

Dear Diary…Life As A Single Mom… Pages Out Of Time “1”

Posted on: December 6, 2009

In an effort to save
my sanity…I embraced the idea of e-mailing as a means of preserving
memories for a keepsake book for my kids.  It was not until recently
that I read letters I had sent over the years.  They
chronicled my life in a way I had not expected.  Moves I had
made…relationships I had known…situations I had somehow found
myself swimming in were either hilariously funny or poignant in such
detail that I now ponder how on earth I ever survived all that I had
been going through.  I will begin a series of excerpts from a different
place in time.  If you are thinking of becoming a single parent …this
might change your mind.  Most likely you know at least one solo
parent.  Hopefully this will open your eyes.  And so it all begins…

Diary…I am trying to think of tropical islands and waterfalls.  I had
therapy today and have a new splint with steel bar on top and bottom. 
I also have to wear an isometric glove at least 12 hours a day.  I
discovered that I cannot straighten my arm much past halfway.  It also
seems the whole problem (across the section that was broken to the
point it was almost side to side) with my arm has a circulation
problem.  The arteries pump blood down but the veins are not pumping it
back up.  That is why if I have my hand down it feels like my hand
could explode from pressure.  It seems all I hear every time I turn
around is surgery, surgery, and more surgery.  Yuck !!!  Today is our
friend’s 91st birthday.  Heck…I may be feeling that old by Friday. 

Diary…I took the medical bus and went to see my regular doctor (general
practitioner) yesterday.  He agreed that my orthopedic doctor had about
four chances too many.  I walked from the doctor’s office to the radiologist and got a new x-ray of my leg…which was sent to my new
orthopedic doctor.  I got a call from him today…all excited about
whatever this is 6cm up from my ankle area.  That is the same spot that
showed in December on all the tests.  Anyway…I got a call a few
minutes later saying they had scheduled an MRI for tomorrow morning at
7:45.  So…my new ortho doctor officially has my leg now…and wants a
CT scan/bone scan repeated too.  I get the feeling I will have the
answers fairly soon after waiting all this time.

Dear Diary…Now I am
doing 24 hour blood tests, etc trying to rule out myeloma (leukemia,
cancer of the blood or bone marrow cancer).  Will be seeing an
oncologist who specializes in blood anyway.  I saw him in the hospital
twice already regarding possible bleeding problems.  My orthopedic
doctor spotted me in the waiting room and took me back to talk to
me…gave me a hug and told me his plans.  I had a nice time  this
afternoon with my oldest daughter.    We looked for birthday presents for her
son…whose party is Saturday.  I got camp chair and tables for my
kids.  Bought a bird bath and a few other outdoor things that needed
replacing.  Best get going…I am babysitting.  My youngest child is at her
softball game.  My son is playing in his room nicely.  I am heading
outside before the sun goes away.

Dear Diary…I have not had a moment to myself…even to
think.  Just when I thought I would be getting caught up on my bills at
last…everything fell apart and I keep getting hit from all sides. 
First Social Security took my son’s money all away because the
insurance company put some in.  This looked as though I had too much
money.  I explained that the insurance company was merely being slow
and will later want their money back as an overpayment.  Bad side of
course was running around all week paying bills only to try and
transfer money from savings to find it was all gone…vanished thanks
to Social Security.   I wrote a lengthy letter about my son’s money and another appeal about losing my medical coverage. 
I have had a rotten time this
week with having to fight over one thing after another…writing
detailed multiple-page letters about my son’s medical history…with endless meetings. 

This has been the worst time in recent memory and then
when I thought the next day would not look so bleak…we woke up to
discover a very sick cat.  He is only 1 1/2 years old but has a serious
blockage in his bladder and kidney stones.  The brand name pet
store vet said 1350.00 to fix him and would not let me pay
payments…even with a thousand dollars down.  My little girl cried her eyes
out…as that was out of the question.  We came home and called around to
find a vet who would see him and consider payments.  After telling all
these strangers my pitiful story I surprisingly found one vet who said
to bring him in and they would see what they could do.  He ended up
having a catheter, IV fluids and got unblocked not once but three times
and was hospitalized for seven nights. The vet charged me a very
reasonable fee…all things considered and he is still in a delicate
state as he can block up again despite three kinds of medicine around
the clock and a special diet. That whole thing will be touch and go for
a bit.

I had a real fight with my daughter’s history teacher
yesterday.  If looks could kill we would both have been dead.  We
worked for over a month on her history day project and over thirty
hours preparing the final effort.  Two weeks after it was turned
in…the teacher decided he did not like her bibliography.  On Friday he told
her to re-do it and turn it in on Monday or he would give her an F for
the whole quarter.  We spent five hours re-doing the bibliography over
the weekend…and he did not even look at what she had done…just
threw it back in her face and said he did not like our printer…so she
was to leave class and go re-type the whole thing.  We had taken the
precaution of e-mailing it to the school’s computer room just in
case…but he would not let her go in to the computer room.  The bibliography is
nothing more than a footnote in the whole scheme of things.

Anyway…the teacher was the biggest jerk I have ever seen from any
school…and changed his tune to sound almost human when the vice
principal came in the room.  In the meantime we spent seven more hours
today…re-doing it again.  If I had not seen the Jekyll and Hyde switch with my own eyes I would not have believed it.  I told her I do not care if she gets an F
in his class for the rest of the year.  She is twelve years old.  I had
been tackled by another Dad at basketball over his child’s history day
project…same teacher involved…and he was hopping mad.  His daughter’s project was rejected three times
with no more suggestion about what was wrong other than to say…you
figure it out.  So…it is not just my daughter and I that have a problem.  What kind of world are we living in ?  My respect for teaching standards just went down the toilet…and I derive from a long line of talented educators.  


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