Pages of my life…

Do You See What I See ??? *

Posted on: November 27, 2009

Images recorded throughout time have been readily accepted as being the precursor to modern photography.  Sculptures and molded statues  from days gone by have been given free rein in the reconstructed likeness department.  In the case of mummified remains or partial recovery from ancient ruins…it stands to reason…some semblance would be fairly accurate…but it makes me wonder what famous faces throughout history would have to say of our perceived notion about their appearance ?  Did Mona Lisa consider her smirky smile to be remarkable or uncanny?  Would young Cleopatra take a glimpse at any of the molten images of her face and smile ear to ear…flattered at the artistic license in their rendering ?  Does anyone actually look in the mirror and see exactly what others see when they glance at you…or admire your picture ?  As I have been on a whole new chapter in consideration of age and aging this past week…I cannot help but wonder if others see the same thing I do.  With minimal effort anyone can look night and day different…smile or no smile…smirk or frown…serious or mischievous looking rascal.  With the benefit of a simple minor modification…hair behind your ears or bangs where once there were none…we can dramatically alter our persona.  I have driven people crazy for most of my life…with my incessant looking in the mirror as though I were waiting for the New Year’s Eve ball to drop in Time Square.   The chances are pretty good that  I will not in fact get any younger.   Well earned lines and creases are not going to simply vanish because I might choose to will them away.  My hair will not magically become thicker…and neither will the once long and beautiful eyelashes regain their previously noticeable beauty.  If it is true that I am on a gradual downward spiral from which there is no return…my mirror and I need to get on board.  When I look in the mirror …I see mischief waiting to be unfolded…smiles and laughter around the corners of my eyes …and the vision of someone both younger and older than I am.  I see the young girl with the pony tail tempting to be pulled.  I have in view a skinny long legged child with braids and a crooked part down the middle.  I picture my childhood friend in the deep south …ringing the doorbell… kissing my chipmunk cheek quickly and saying “damn Yankee”…as though his attraction and my recent move from the north were somehow my fault.  I see a much too skinny frame with blonde hair carelessly flying in the breeze…and a few softer…older versions of me too.  Sometimes…I see my spunky great grandmother…lovingly covered in wrinkles…a vision I can only hope to achieve one day.  A co-worker at a military installation once walked past my cubicle about forty times before making the announcement  that he had finally figured it out.  I reminded him of an appaloosa filly.  I did not quite know what to make of this analogy…or if it was an offhanded compliment of sorts.  Eventually…he took the time to explain…that an appaloosa filly changes in appearance from time to time…keeping its image fresh and new…part of the spirited package nature has bestowed upon it.  I have laughingly written about my Saint Bernard puppy feet…and virtually every small addition to the sum total …of an older but ever changing soul whose face I aptly refer to as “just me”.  Curiosity being what it is…I cannot help but wonder…is it the young woman with a small child on each hip whose image meets you at the mirror…or the one wearing a low cut  little black velvet dress…or perhaps someone wearing combat boots and a hard hat as you change back and forth from men’s shirts to short skirts as your diversified job requires ?  In any given photo session…you may take a hundred pictures…and one or two of those may capture your spirit for all time…not as others see you… but as you imagined you looked at that moment.  I took photos of all of our attending family members this evening as we prepared to enjoy our holiday together.  And…with benefit of a timer and tri-pod my brother snapped group photos at the table.  I was thrilled to learn I had captured a radiant picture of my older sister…and was equally subsequently dismayed to discover she thought a different picture was “the one”… the veritable keeper.  As I continue to explore my series on the senses …it would stand to reason that “do you hear what I hear” may follow in the near future …but for now…this writer will resign for the evening… secure in the knowledge …that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.  And that simple fact wholeheartedly explains the endless peals of laughter forever emerging from my room. 

1 Response to "Do You See What I See ??? *"

Love this.

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